When I first rescued my cat, Kitty, from the tough streets of my parent’s suburban neighborhood, I took a lot of things she did personally. If she ignored my presence or refused to sleep with me at night, it made me feel unloved and unappreciated.
“Cats are all instinct; try not to take anything Kitty does to heart,” one of my seasoned cat parent friends reminded me.
So I gave her the space she required for us to build trust and natural connection. Two years later, it’s rare for her not to sleep beside me at night or give me a love bite to the ankle when I’m working at my desk.
Based on her actions, I’d say Kitty’s values are safety, freedom, and consistency. She is hyperly aware of potential threats, is very serious about her independence, and likes to stick to her daily routines. Failing to consider her values leads to a lot of scratching, biting, and/or hiding out under the bed. Knowing this has helped me gain her trust and affection — two things that are rarely given lightly by stray cats.
When I first brought Kitty inside after she’d lived outdoors for years, I can imagine she was longing for safety, freedom, and consistency. Her life had been disrupted by a human stranger and she wasn’t used to being contained like that. Over time, despite some chaos and late-night crying, she was able to adapt to her new life — one where, despite how different it was, honored her need for safety, freedom, and consistency.
When we’re conscious of and can communicate our values, we have the ability to move through uncertainty with more peace, integrity, and alignment. We can build more authentic relationships with ourselves and the people (or pets) around us.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about values — both as a business owner and as someone who’s looking for new job opportunities.
As the world around us continues to submerge itself in chaos and uncertainty, it feels impossible to find my footing without compromising what I really want and believe in.
Without a North Star to guide me, my options look very rigid and bleak.
I have to continue promoting my services in the midst of war and genocide and mass shootings or I won’t be able to pay my bills.
Without a North Star to guide me, my inner critic sits in the driver’s seat.
If I don’t spend every second of the day applying for jobs, I’m not trying hard enough.
Without a North Star to guide me, I can lose sight of myself and what I want.
I’ll accept whatever I’m given, even if it means sacrificing my values or mental health.
I hadn’t realized how lost and helpless I was feeling until I attended ’s Alchemy Circle, where we explored longing as a portal; I was longing for clarity, security, and freedom.
Later that day, Chetna, Nico, and I began planning an upcoming Mosaiceye event called Clarifying Your North Star, and the topic of longing came up again. What if longing is a portal to our north stars, grounding and guiding us in the midst of cosmic chaos?
With a North Star to guide me, my view of what’s possible begins to expand.
My work helps people show up more compassionately and authentically, even when bad shit is happening in the world. What are some ways I can show up meaningfully and mindfully right now?
With a North Star to guide me, compassion sits in the driver’s seat.
I am doing everything I can with what I have; just because I’m not getting the outcome I thought I wanted, doesn’t mean I’m doing something wrong.
With a North Star to guide me, I remember who I am.
Turning down misaligned opportunities leaves space for the right ones to come along; trust your instincts (like Kitty).
If you’ve been feeling a bit lost too — in business, in career, in personal relationships — I’d like to invite you to invest in clarifying your north star.
Peace, love and Kitty scratches,
Andrea